Crank up the Cliff, we’re going on a holiday….

 

We haven’t been on holiday since before I fell pregnant with the boy – it’s been a frigging long time and it’s starting to get me down. Having family in Devon is great as we can go and visit them and it feels like “going away” but deep down I think we all know it’s not really the same thing. A holiday comes with no obligations and a trip to the city where all your family and friends live does not. I’m not complaining, it’s just the way it is.

So anyway yeah, Oscar has never had a proper holiday. This is mainly down to lack of funds if truth be told. But it also has something to do with not really knowing how to holiday as a family/with children. Before Oscar, we were massive fans of the Greek Islands having visited five different ones over the past 10 years. When he was a baby, and buoyed by a complete naivety of the situation, I was adamant I wanted to take him there, right now! Maybe it would have worked when he was a dot of a thing, but the more I get to know him and the more I wise up to what he’s all about, the more I know a proper beach holiday is going to have to wait. Not really for any other reason than he’s a runner. He would NEVER sit on a beach and build sandcastles, at least not yet. At all times one or the other of us would be having to run after him. I’m sure he’d think it was a great lark, but he’d put up with constantly being dragged back, about as long as I would put up with running after him. We’d come back more knackered than when we went away!

This being the case I think Ben would be just as happy to not take a holiday, or at a push take a  ‘staycation’, a holiday at home. Only that’s all I do. I’m here all the time. It would be like me suggesting we spend a week in Ben’s office in Camberley, taking day trips out to the Co-Op or to look at Sandhurst barracks down the road. He sees these things every day – it wouldn’t be a holiday for him. And as I spend my whole life in my house or around the local area, staying here wouldn’t be a holiday for me either. If they say a change is as good as a rest, then that wouldn’t be it.

So I got to thinking, maybe the answer would be to consider the unconsiderable (at least it was two years ago) – holidaying in the UK. My childless self would have just gasped and slapped me. What is the point? It’s more expensive and the weathers shit, right? OK, so yes it can prove just as expensive as flying to another country (which is bonkers if you ask me) and the weather can be wholly unpredictable. But look at last summer. And this summer’s not shaping up to be half as bad either. It can work. And kids don’t care where they go do they? I didn’t.

I spent the first 12 years of my life in the West Midlands. In that time a holiday to us was a week in the UK, usually somewhere like Bournemouth, Devon or Cornwall. And I loved it. I still remember the thrill of staying somewhere new. And the butterflies I’d get when the sea would come into view, competing with my brother to be the first to shout “I can see the sea!”. We spent hours playing on various UK beaches, my favourite at the time being Boscombe Beach. I remember it’s ramp down to the sand, the concrete hot under your bare feet, the pier we never went down, but occasionally sheltered under if the weather suddenly changed and the excitement of queuing for an ice cream or gathering to watching a (frankly macabre) Punch and Judy show.

The last time I wore a bikini! My brother and me on Boscombe Beach circa 1985

I’ve no idea how my parents felt about the whole experience but I loved it and it gave me precious memories to carry with me for life. But I was older. And I was a very different child to the boy. What can we do, that Oscar will enjoy, will work for who he is, but that wont leave us with black rings under our eyes cursing the money we’ve spent? You might think we’re over analysing the whole thing and there might be parents reading this who are screaming hey just do it – go with the flow, enjoy it. But I know my guys (the big one and the little one) and if it’s not going to work for both of them in some way what on earth is the point?

Last week we were introduced to the idea of a UK hotel break, but one that is super child focussed. Our friend Michelle and her hubby and two toddler girls went to Moonfleet Manor in Weymouth, part of the Luxury Family Hotels chain. She came back saying she hadn’t relaxed so much since the girls were born, thanks to the absolute focus the hotel places on enjoyment for all the family. I had to check it out and they really do seem to understand toddlers, and more to the point the parents of toddlers, completely. Part of the deal is a crèche, run for four hours a day to allow everyone in the family to spend some time doing what they enjoy most. It really didn’t take me long to sell it to Ben. We’re going for a mini break in August and Oscar’s already booked into the crèche for two hours each day. I hope to use the spa, absolutely I do, but I think I’m just looking forward to sitting. In peace, without feeling like I should be doing something. And with the baby listening service provided as part of the deal it’ll be nice for Ben and I to spend some quality time together. You know being grown ups.

Maybe one day we’ll be able to do two weeks in the Med, enjoying the beach and the local food and all that jazz. For now I’ll take a hotel in Dorset that is going to help me care for my son and give me the break I’ve been craving, every time.

I’ll let you know how it goes!

 

 

 

 

Sold!

I’ve never been a hoarder. Ever since I left home at 18, with my life packed up in my boyfriend’s Citroen AX, I’ve been acutely aware of keeping what I need and moving on what I don’t. I moved house a lot in my 20’s, which only served to reinforce my brutal approach to clutter (you try moving house, across London, on the Tube with only two large rucksacks and a boyfriend for help and then tell me you have to keep that pair of jeans you never wear or that frog ornament you never liked.) 

Since having Oscar I’ve become ultra efficient at moving stuff on, for two reasons. One is that children out grow EVERYTHING very quickly. Not just clothes, which they can speed through quicker than you can say “this season’s JoJo catalogue” but also toys, books, equipment, furniture. You name it, they use it and grow out of it. The other is that we live in a tiny cottage. We have two bedrooms, one of which is a loft extension, meaning storage is at a premium (our “loft” consists of three small cupboards in the eaves of Oscar’s bedroom). These things combined mean I have little option other than to constantly move things on. You simply couldn’t live in this house, with a child and not be a ruthless declutterer.

But do you know? I love doing it!

I get a real thrill from seeing things I no longer have use or space for, being given a new home and a second lease of life, while I get a little money in my back pocket. I have several ways in which I do it:

eBay

I love eBay. Yes I know it has its issues and not everyone wants to pay the fees they charge, but as platform for selling to as wide an audience as possible it’s hard to beat. I’ve been selling on eBay since 2009, when I moved to Swansea, with no job and time on my hands. Because that’s really what selling on eBay requires, a bit of time. I still regularly put things on eBay, although with the cost of postage going up and up I am finding it less and less appealing for children’s clothes. People just aren’t prepared to pay more than a couple of pounds for an item they then have to pay £3 or £4 postage for. I still sell adult clothes with some success but for children’s clothes I have started to favour Facebook.

Facebook

You can advertise your items in your own News Feed, if you think you have friends who might want what you have but I’ve found the best way to sell through Facebook, is to join a local buying and selling group. I’ve joined several community groups, aimed specifically at buying and selling childrens items. These groups are all voluntarily run and the good ones are run really well. They enable other members (usually people local to you) to see the items you are selling and contact you directly about buying and collecting them. I’ve become much more keen on using this method for Oscar’s things as they charge no fees and buyers seem happier to pay a little more for each item as there is no postage cost.

Nearly New

I don’t know about your local area but we have a really active NCT branch where I live. They do all sorts for local parents, but being a charity have to fund their work themselves. One of the biggest ways in which they do this, is their bi-annual Nearly New Sales. This is a mammoth feat of organisation, but results in a super opportunity to buy really decent quality second hand items. I’ve been attending our local sale since I was 8 months pregnant with Oscar, first as a buyer, then as a volunteer. I also tried my hand at selling last year. The sales offer an opportunity to sell items for you (no manning a stall needed) and the fees charged go to a local charity rather than a massive corporation. However, preparing items for sale can be rather time consuming, particularly if these items don’t sell. I had better luck selling equipment and toys rather than clothes here. I think I’ve learnt you have to make a decision at sales like this. Do you want to make money or space in your house? I know one of our most successful sellers sells large quantities, but at 50p an item. So you need to ask yourself, why are you selling your items, before pricing them up.

Charity Shop

I tend to donate things only when I’ve tried and failed to sell them or if they were given to me in the first place. All things donated really need to be in good condition – which some people forget. I used to work for a charity that had a shop. I have sorted many a bag of generous donations, but I am telling you now, if you wouldn’t sell it because it’s torn, stained or unwearable, then charity shops can’t sell it either! If they’re switched on then these shops will be able to recycle these items, but, seriously people, think before you donate!

Recycling

I’ve taken clothes to recycle banks (like bottle banks but for clothes), but I’ve only ever used paid recycling when I worked at the shop. There are more and more companies springing up that collect clothing and pay a small amount for it per kilo. I have never had enough at one time to make this worth me doing, but my Mother in Law had a proper clear out recently and managed to make £11 at 50p per kilo!  If you’ve got heavy adult items (or perhaps just lots and lots of children who have trashed clothes you can’t sell any other way) I guess this might be worth a look.

There are lots of other ways, including various online swapping, selling or giving sites I’ve tried but had little luck with. I have also never tried a car boot, yard or jumble sale, again because I’ve never had enough all at once to make it worth while, but I’d be willing to give it a go if I did. I’m happy to move most things on, in any number of different ways. But despite this being the case, I can assure you, I don’t lack sentiment.

In my wardrobe I have a tote bag filled to the brim with pieces that mean something to me, all that bring back a memory of Oscar’s life. I have the 0-3 Month baby grow we were going to bring him home in, the (second hand newborn size) babygrow we actually did, the outfit from his Pleased to Meet You baby party, his first rattle, his first shoes, his first pair of jeans, the list goes on. Occasionally I take them out and look at them. I remember, when I’ve forgotten, just how tiny he was and I smile.

Yes I’m a ruthless declutterer, yes I get a thrill out of selling our stuff, but there are some things I would never sell.

Not for all the tea in China.